Part 1
The Computer Liberation Front

Andrew's head jerked up from the keyboard, a slight drop of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth. He shook his head, and tried to smooth out the keyboard imprint from his cheek.

A flash of steel caught Andrew's attention.

"What the-?" he mumbled to himself as he leaned over to get a better view.

Just then he heard numerous whisperings in a language he didn't understand.

"He has discovered us, brothers! Kill him quickly!" whispered a ninja from behind a dead lab attendant. Immediately, all the people in the lab slumped over dead, revealing a ninja behind each dead lab user.

Andrew arched an eyebrow. What kind of madness was going on here? He had no time to think, and dropped to his knees and snapped his chair over his head. Three shuriken hissed by, each imbedding itself into the chair.

One ninja foolishly jumped at Andrew, eager for the kill. The ninja kicked at Andrew, who blocked the kick and swept the ninja off his feet. Andrew slid over the fallen ninja quickly, placing his knee on the ninja's chest and pushing hard. Jumping to his feet, he quickly surveyed the lab.

Three more ninjas advanced on him, and their leader stood motionless. The three ninjas attacked Andrew, but their lack of experience made for mere warm ups for the battle-hardened fighter. Andrew stood over the fallen ninjas, and looked upon the ninja leader.

"Who are you? Why did you kill all of them?" asked Andrew, genuinely confused.

"We are the CLF, Computer Liberation Front. We have come to liberate these computers from this cruel programming at the hands of novices, and into the green pastures of freedom.

"But we did not expect to meet resistance from one such as yourself. I have studied your technique. I believe you may even be nearly my equal.

"Let us duel. We shall not finish until one of us is dead."

"Deal."

The ninja leader, in one swift motion removed his black ninja mask and clothing from the upper half of his body revealing a huge, rippled hulk of muscle.

Andrew dropped into a fighting stance.

The two jumped at each other and clashed in a furious contest of hands, feet, bodies, and wills. Their hands blurred as they met each strike with a block, each counterstrike with a counter-counterstrike.

Andrew was beginning to wear down. He was getting tired, and he could feel the ninja leader pressing every advantage.

Finally, the ninja leader delivered a hard strike to Andrew, sending him sprawling. The ninja leader advanced on Andrew, preparing the killing blow.

In a strange haze, Andrew's teachers rose and whispered to him.

"Andrew... use the force... Luke... I mean Andrew..." And then the apparition was gone.

Andrew nodded slowly. He knew what he had to do.

The ninja leader rose his hand above his head, poised to strike.

"WAIT!" screamed Andrew.

"Huh?!" yelped the ninja leader in bewilderment.

"I lost a contact!" said Andrew.

"Oh, let me help you with that," replied the ninja leader as he bent over in search of the lost lens.

As the ninja leader bent over, Andrew jabbed his fingers into the ninja leader's eyes.

"YOW!" cried the ninja leader.

"Nyuk nyuk nyuk!" said Andrew, as he kicked the ninja leader's shins, poked his eyes, and pulled his hair.

After only a few moments, the ninja leader curled up in a ball and sucked his thumb. "I concede! You are obviously the master, and I merely the student!" the ninja leader moaned. "Just stop acting like Curly!"

Andrew smiled. He had just once again saved the University of Minnesota from uncertain doom.

But still, Andrew was greatly confused. What time, he wondered, did Jacqui eat dinner? This and other great puzzles still lie in front of him.

The End...or is it?

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