I hesitate by the door
I've been through it
A million times before
Why am I so scared?

My hand stills
Ready to knock
Her laughter mixed with his.
Why am I so scared?

My brain screams to knock
My heart whispers to run.
I turn to go
Why am I so scared?

I should be happy
My friend-sister
Has finally found someone
So why am I so scared?

Days long forgotten
Come to haunt me.
"Friends forever"
Fading into the sunset
Never to be heard from again.

Friends found friends
And I was alone...again
Silver and gold
For me there is only rust

The perfect family tumbles
Leaving me to sift through the dirt

"Please don't leave me"
But my lips stay silent
And I watch her
Slip through my fingers
Why am I so scared?

Why can't I be happy?
Why must my friends
Fade away like old photographs
Sitting in the sun too long?